Saturday, April 22, 2017

Talk to yourself.14 - headache


Lies, can only keep growing. Because you need more, to cover the previous one.

Heavy topic starting on talk to yourself session this week. Yea. I'm not good. I'm very not good. And I very surprise that this week gone so fast, maybe because mind busy & tired.


On Monday, finally I decided to visit Mr. Doctor. Doctor giap something on my finger, giap something on my wrist, and giap something on my elbow..I guess is to measure heartbeat and blood pressure or something. And he satisfy with the results "expected. shouldn't have any problem for your age group". Doc, I not young liao lor. LOL

Temporary declared that it might due to long hours pc-facing. Then he tried to ask what I'm working as.
"Programmer."
Doc "AHAHAHAHAHHAHA"
...

MC one day. 久违的MC. Have a good rest, lay on bed whole day, because headache attack once I try to surf net. BUT EXCEPT FACEBOOK! MAGIC! Worst things came after 1 day MC, have to pay back for MC! The another day back to office have very headache activities. End up I got the most serious headache for this 3 weeks. ARH total we have almost 5 hours for 3 separate meeting from 930 to 530! Break my last longest meeting record of 2 continuous meeting for 3 hours in total.

is talk = productive?progressive?
W is right, we being pressed alot by D team when our side choose to eat everything from them. I did realized since last week therefor we change a method for eportal maintenance. And we are going well this week. Will try another week to see is this because D team is inactive by luck or this maintenance method is really suit for this lovely customer.

But,
Still headache now. 3rd week. Hohseh, doctor said better go back do scanning if headache maintain another week. But I will still feel it's my mental problem. LOL.


End up still decided to consume the pain killer med. Aiks.

Saturday, April 15, 2017

Talk to yourself.13 - Headache

Another headache week. How can this headache last so long? 2 weeks! Told people around me if I suddenly baobi, please burn me. I'm serious. I don't want ong under ground for years!!

Maybe next week should visit doctor if still the same.

And I better leave some last words?
- personal insurance bought ✔
- house loan insurance bought ✔
Ok. Safe.


I tot this will be a peaceful week, but I'm wrong, its very not peace compare with normal days, just because new project finally released. "Finally released" caused the longer term maintenance & support, resources occupied, what a waste, and shouldn't have this for long term but it still going this way. Not healthy. One of the key may due to the working pattern of both internal & external team involved. Ask and Give, so it comes to ask ask ask and ask.

Been force to do somethings that you not interested can be so annoyed and demotivated. Sometimes, you look "granted" to handle somethings, but actually there are lot of spaces that stay & keep for their so call "future".以防万一. I got the idea. So I choose to release. I'm not a fighter. 大家都是斯文人. And the opposite will still trying to hold hand "来,我们都是最棒的".

Disappointment is a big ruined, I told. Even though I'm always kind and forgiveness, but it doesn't mean I will forget the experience gained :)


Good Friday week, after few weeks run, decided to stop this week. Stay at home lay-lay-har.
Books on home desk are growing. LOL

No la kopi this week, got plenty of times doing something at home. But ended up the activities are....reading & guitar practice, and goes loop. But still feel good! Except the headache. niwawa

Oh, at least I got Ros fixed with 2 putus string. Why this fella strings always break when V-zai did't even break once for 5 years. I shall buy a better quality string next round. Or it's my change string skill problem?


I found something weird. I've a missing piece of memories that I suppose remember, but I can't recall every single details. That's my life debts. Maybe...couldn't recall is also a part of the punishments.


Guitar
Rhythm test passed. LOL
Another chords changing practice. And my least favorite chords library just got updated with Bm7 this week. ARHHHHHH! WHYYYYYY!!!

No class next week, so here comes to have 2 set of practice from last lesson, plus the Mute practice I gave to myself. Mute seems like an art, look easy yet so difficult. MEH.

OH. Seeing a person with Ukulele LIVE...can be so cute. SHIT. That's a super awesome ratio. Yes Ukulele is only 4 strings and guitar have 6, I didn't see wrongly neither.

AHHHH HOW CAN THIS INSTRUMENT BORN TO BE SO SMALL!!




Saturday, April 8, 2017

Talk to yourself.12 - Headache

Today's la coffee session sooooo long, since 12pm with SY and W, moving from Tiramisu to BaoMaker. Reason being is...BaoMaker chair nicer and coffee nicer and..we need to sit another few hours & T-people keep bear us. LOL. The main focus is on SY & ePortal cosmestic changes. Well, think still lost control because it not suppose to take this long - or haven been controlled before!

fanxing ah yinyin

Got to have some focus on this matter start from next week.
side notes: BaoMaker got "熟人", have to think 1 2 3 times before visit there next time.😶


Finally FF have KL office, with KL team. New colleague is a hyper guy. 年轻真好。I used to innocent like him too (but not hyper). What killing the stamina? What killing the dream? *sifatt, you never set dream before.😠


Today still headache. Continuous for 1 whole week. So I gather this is because........I have a bad sleep for this week. Got to sleep early. Healthy life. Because old jor. Aiks.

Guitar
Doing rhythm practice this week. Damn. When I first try during the class, I thought I can never make it for my whole life. Z said "you have to disconnect your both hands!"
...
But they are connected!

End up I realized, he means have your brain to disconnect them.

Headache.

But glad, finally I still make it. Think next time coding can chio-er, because I can have left right leg/hand disconnected now.😏

Disconnect. This term is very interesting here. The reason I have this rhythm practice this week is due to my very failing strumming skill on last 2 weeks practice, Z said I play those chords like they are not connected. And I have this for 2 weeks but I still can't get the idea!
| C | Cm7 | C7 | Cm7 |
↓ ↓ ↓↑ ↑↓ ↓↑

Another week passed, then only I manage to get myself to ask the key question..."How is the BPM place for these strumming directions?" Yuan lai, I never get this 4 fellas right on the tempo, is because I never understand how they should be in place!! This is like I never able to write a chio email, when I can't understand what is that system about! 所以说有些东西不了解的话真的很难装pro. #DontForceMe

But this is interesting practice, even sometimes a bit wuliao, as in keep tap tap tap tap tap. But what I actually want to achieve is to tap with my brain able to think other things in the same time. LOL.



Sunday, April 2, 2017

Talk to yourself.11 - evolution of planning

Family chat group gone crazy today. Anyway, is healthy life to wake up early, but if it's with bad news...hmmmmmmm. RIP 阿伯. He have almost all children staying in SG. I hope they did able to make it to see him before he...gone.

Last 2 days Bowl shared me the news on KeKeSe, I totally forgot the existence of this person. He got cancer. Damn. Life sucks, when it is sucks. Bowl said she worried herself, what, this fella got unhealthy life - sleep late, eat and sleep, junk food. But I din try to suggest her to correct her lifestyle but just ask her don't think too much. Because...this kind of things, somehow..is about luck. There are still people with healthy life chosen for the challenge.

Shit news overflow this week. Seems no news is the best news.



OH. Recently addicted to 狮子合唱团 (LION), actually is only to the Guitarist LeeQ.
LOL. SHIT. DAMN. He is so damn cute!!!

xing xing ah Yin Yin!


My wallet is getting break up. After used for 7 years, finally. I still remember I bought it at RM70, it's big money for me that time, well I doesn't mean RM70 is small money for me now. #ermmmmm But use 7 years.....dai. Suddenly reminded me there are a lot of people asked me why did I look "rich".. actually they doesn't declare you are rich by you look elegant/chio/白雪雪, but by the things or lifestyle you have:
- seldom go trip, rich
- seldom go out dinner, rich
- seldom hang out, rich
- seldom shopping, rich
- seldom buy new shoes, rich
- seldom buy new bag, rich
- seldom buy new shirt, rich
- no go Starbucks, rich
- always go trip, rich
- always go out dinner, rich
- always hang out, rich
- always shopping, rich
- always buy new shoes, rich
- always buy new bag, rich
- always buy new shirt, rich
- always go Starbucks, rich
- earn SGD, rich
- always buy books.....e? how come no one say this before?
*Im not trying to hit article length.

MEH. That's why for friends around me, I'm "rich". Another terms abused & spoil. LOL. And I got my wallet used 7 years but you ask me why Im rich! See see how you spent your own money dude!!!

lengjing ah Yin Yin!


Oh...today is an excited Saturday. Hang out with Jc. Supposed we to meet at NEX Starbucks, who knows...close for renovation. I thought wow so bad luck, 1st date with Jc so failed??

End up visited HG Mall Starbucks - die die want Starbucks. Well, thanks for the treat. Only travel $$ spent today! but eat dao bao bao. :D

Good catch up, we have errrrr few hours talk. From company to personal life. One of the good things with colleague is we can have the same chat topic, no gossip no gossip! Healthy talk! LOL

Shared her the 3rdparty get tariff plan. Jc is the "user" in this new plan, she will be the 1st beneficial to utilize this new arrangment. And next week gonna involve W and Vc to kick start the implementation. Hope they will help to prioritize this project #TinAhhhDidYouHearMe

Oh and Jc shared me what she been doing. Finally after one month, I know the project she handling in details, even we did OT together - for few nights.. It's very interesting when you see there are few parts combine to make ones complete.

I used to tell my family & friends (because non-IT will always curious!)..coding, is very easy. The challenging one is about how you make use on the knowledge & resources. This is very surface comments, for non-IT person. If let a pro IT person saw this, think will show me 7-7 gesture.

Recently playing a lot on a project planning. Hmmmm Project? Maybe it's more like a Solution. The mind open up abit, and found new attributes this time.
1. road map & target
2. position & focus
3. implementation

Newbie time, I focus on implementation. Direct abit means how to code the plan out. LOL #ImProgrammer
Slowly we learn how to plan the position of a solution. Where is this place? What is the focus of this solution? Where you can bring it to.
And now, got road map & target. Where you want it to bring you to.

Interesting. I very qidai the day I found no.4. #QiDai


Never speak out never know. Recently keep self slap brain when talking to someone, to avoid side track topic. It's very very easy been lead when you try to answer/react to questions OR open conditions that provided by the person. Every input is trying to set up the environment, brain background scenes are keep swapping, if you step into it......
G "What would you like to have if money is not an issue"
YY "Go back Malaysia"

That's why.

zan zok ah Yin Yin!


Guitar
niwawa, I thought C Major Scale only 8 press. Who knows, Z introduce me another 5 this week. Conclusions is, this week doing Scale exercise.
3 part bar chords, 4 part bar chords.
C, Cm7, C7
...Will he someday tell me we actually have C8 C9 C1 C2 C3 huh? *ok found question to ask for next class




Monday, March 27, 2017

【心得】《綠寶石:時空戀人III》

綠寶石:時空戀人III
2015年寶貝送的生日禮物,缺首部曲。2016年因為城邦活動的RM10固本,收集完整。結果還是又再拖了一年才開始碰。好吧,至少這一次我選擇聯繫性的看完了一個系列,就平時來說我會先攻其他系列再回來呢😆

終部曲嘛,就是兩人兩情相悅後開始攜手duk穿伯爵的詭計。啊,反正第二部也已經提過了,基本上這整部就是兩個孩子跳躍來跳躍去要阻止伯爵拿到長生不死藥。哦故事裡秘社的護法們真的很傻...幾百年的歷史和經驗,結果在最後一點忙都沒幫上,故事確實有點太偏重主角們了。最後整件事情還是幾個小瓜給解決了。

結局嘛,其實有點亂來。最後男主和女主應該會“永遠”幸福的生活下去了。難怪時光儀設定成了兩部。

哦,終部曲,看完了。其實還真的沒想到這本會看了幾乎3個星期那麼久。這段時期大概太多事情發生了,閱讀的時候總是無法專心,讀過的句子似乎讀了一遍又一遍才有辦法繼續下去。而且我還有點覺得我的閱讀想像力有點卡卡的,貌似只為了解決這本書而讀,結果讀得一點靈魂都沒有。然後又從段落重新閱讀。loop。就這樣搞了3個星期。(記錄當下的心情)

語錄

  • 跳--並且讓你在下墜時生出翅膀。-雷·布萊德伯裡
  • 「愛因斯坦說過,偶然是宇宙唯一的合法主宰。」「不是愛因斯坦,是拿破崙。」
  • 這些資訊實在太多了,根本來不及消化,每個想法後面都還拖著另外十個想法。
  • 「永遠」是由許多「當下」構成的。-艾蜜莉·狄金森
  • 「你的推車綁在星星上」歐納多.達.文西
  • 以子之矛 攻子之盾


系列心得
《紅寶石:時空戀人Ⅰ》
《藍寶石:時空戀人Ⅱ》


時空戀人系列 完。

Saturday, March 25, 2017

Talk to yourself.10 - Mist Cleared

I received an SMS from FEDEX on last Saturday after la coffee session & on my way to go home, saying that I have a parcel scheduled delivery on Tuesday. MEH. As usual I close it immediately and take it as a "SPAM" message. But I got the instinct feel this message got something different this time, programmer mode on, because the URL look so formal! And tried to online tracking, WOW, really got tracking information, and its delivering from CHINA to office!

Inspector mode on, who the surprise from? And another shit is it's scheduled to be delivered on Tuesday 6pm. OT parcel!

End up I really received the parcel on Wednesday noon time. Frogs group was excited with the mystery parcel too "really got parcel" "is that a bomb, yaya is that u delivered a bomd to FF" "did u ordered something" "is that surprise from zw" "qidai"

And end up, once I un-parcel and saw the books name, I know its from Mei3!


This is the Chinese version of the book I gifted to her when she is leaving FF :) Thank You Very Much! I LOVE IT SO MUCH!

OH..
Finally applied for Starbucks Card.
Card design look so class. LOL.

I actually started to fanxing...is that spent too much on la coffee weekly. Today I almost decided not to visit Starbucks, but end up I'm here, and up to now, I'm already here for 4 hours!

But it's okay. And I'm glad I visited. Today is a very fruitful la coffee session. I gained super duper a lot!!

Finally this week coming to the end of the transition - or I can declare its ended, everything (on myself) started to have the engine on and moving on slowly. (cannot be chiong ahhh from the beginning)

Stop moving on is a very scary things, I couldn't understand before I experience it and before I see the actual case. DAMN. I not gonna have myself going into that way. NO WAY!

New targets on, new plans on, fight for next week! Move on move on!


Guitar
Practice of the week : 情非得已 - scale version, with tempo applied. I wish I can finish this as soon as possible, because I'm very very very interested on the strum version of this song!

Ah, come to end of term again, so fast! Last few weeks I'm still unsure should I continue to have one more term. But it seems like now is the start of guitar game! Some skills learnt, and next I gonna learn how to apply and play them. And it's very interesting now when here comes to a compile version of skill(s) plus rhythm.

吉他方面也加油吧! :)

Saturday, March 18, 2017

Talk to yourselft.9 - Mind Block


It's my birthday week on Tuesday 14Mar! Happy Birthday. MEH. ZW treat me a buffet at three little? little three? or little tree? tree little? ARH Forgot. I suppose is a relax buffet restaurant, so I attempt to dress cincai. END UP ITS buffet in Hotel at Orchard! Then I ask him "why you din warn me its a little class buffet!" And he said "这是常识好吗?"

...

Luckily I didn't end up wearing short pants and T-shirt which I really about to. And I bet he will not tell OR warning me even I really do that. WELL. Thanks for the great buffet, I love it :D

Relax topic ended.


There is always a line in between 2 persons, slim one or fat one, it matter. Some people very jin-gak, attempt to use the slim line, and cross it with some sweet talk. But it's ok, ending up the line will become wider.
You got the widest line I ever have. Congrat.
And I got new experience. Congrat.


Mind Block vs See through. I found it sometimes very abstract. When I tot I see through, how would I know maybe it's a mind block. When I tot I'm on mind block, how would I know maybe that's a temporary stop after a see through. Recently keep mind hitting wall, the "smooth walk path" getting shorter and shorter, every few steps there is a block. zhap-ziok on something #niwawa


Hmmm. After 6 weeks of playing AS. Well, block again. Started to lost interest of adding-to-do-items-and-keep-adding-and-adding-adding-add-ahhhh and task-read-pick-investigate-n-assign routine. On Thursday of this week, I made a notes to myself when I noticed I getting bored on this kind of job activities.
Stop all planned targets.
Stop Yin Yin. Just stop there now.
I couldn't proceed for now before I'm ready to proceed
WOW, lost passion is very scary things? Lost passion and choose to give up is even more scary!

But when I view back when la-ing coffee now...with the new attributes come in, with my on-going to-do plans started for this month. I think this might be the chance to blurry focus but push on instead. Head tag Head tag Head tags ahhhh!

Blurry focus, because I know what I want achieve, but I still not yet figure out HOW! I'm actually also kind of person that react only after an action...

Well. What's next week targets?


Guitar
1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and 5...no don't have 5.
This week lesson 1st saw Taugeh >> ♩ ♪ ♫ << Taugeh
Scale practice got to continue. Left hand palm muscle very pain. Continue for one month maybe can do coding chio-er. QiDai.

Z asked me some questions about coding today...before the lesson? during or after the lesson? arh forgot, but im surprise. I stun for a while, I'm programmer, but recently I'm not in coding mode. Ooo but next week maybe there should be some "chance(ssss)" to get back to programmer mode...and from there maybe I can 找回初衷.

Coding make xiangfa.


Another 1 week for the game. 好好玩吧。

Saturday, March 11, 2017

Talk to yourselft.8 - Define Stress

Satisfaction - some people get from compliments/praise from others, some people get from own target & own aim. Then I noticed I'm the later type. Back to last week, SY said I done ePortal alone, so chio. I got to admit ePortal is my hard time, I remember how I done it alone when everybody try to siam. #niwawa. Big project? BIG. But only ONE as developer, planner, questioner, doer, coder, talker. Self guide, self do, self lead, self siam. FINE. But thanks for this awesome chance that boost me to be more independent, and boost me knowledge in this fields. What doesn't kill me make me stronger.

When all this in, and I'm still here, people define my story as "STRESS". How good this conclusion.

I never think the ePortal is Chio. Code? Every programmer can code. Do? Every programmer can do. The doer know what's real ingredients behind each project. I never have the proud feeling for this project, but its DONE by me that's a fact, that's a truth. If want me to speak out my feeling, I got no feel. Is just a bunch of code that I have to write out with instructions. And tada----the web system is up.

What I proud is, this project doesn't kill me.

Teammates asked me do I show off this website to friends before? WOW, I stunned. Because I really never think to do it before. And I start LAM, WHY? Well. Actually I never show off anythings I done before. Ah...maybe got, for TARC websites, after 7 years, TARC still using the websites implemented by us during internship. MEH. That's a story sharing, don't have any "proud" ingredients inside the story. Trust me.

Tonglisum is a hot topic recently. But yuan lai...tonglisum too over will make people fan-gan. So, please aware yours, Yin Yin.

Recently for AS roles, there is a lot of chances & my turn to hold the ball. But I never think of use that ball on my hand to build another spiking chance like in volleyball, 3 times hitting chance:
1st - steady down own team's pace, and pass the ball to someone that can make attack chance
2nd - set the ball high to build the attack chance
3rd - spiker to jump and attack *hard attack.
OR
2nd/3rd - setter or front line player to soft push the ball, in Chinese we known it 放球。*soft attack
Either one can win ONE mark, when the opponent missed the ball. It's timing issue, and how you able to catch the chance for your team!

Thanks W for reminding me.

Define Stress.
This term, seems like having very wide usage. I stress when people said I look stress.

I wonder do I say others "look stress" before, annoying term. I will never cincai use this term anymore.


ZW told me, when you are in bad mood, try to play guitar 1st, maybe can become better. Sounds Good. Glad I got this activity now, most relax activity after reading - and practice is one of the responsibilities, so its forcing myself to have time that jump out from "city noise". I got a lot of things to play alone, never lonely. #HowComeSoundSad

Guitar
This week learn Time Signature. Time signature is a weird thing, 8/4 is not equal to 2! But equal to 8! HUAT AH, I'm A PROGRAMMER!
Duk calculator when I gone home. Force the logic answer in. Mind peace now.

Practice of the week - SCALE.

Sad story of short fingers. But this is not an excuse. Practice hard Yin Yin.


Saturday, March 4, 2017

曰48●心的蒙蔽

蒙蔽你的不是被隱瞞的真相,
而是那顆一而再再而三自欺的心。

盈盈
19 February 2017 星期日

【心得】《藍寶石:時空戀人Ⅱ》

藍寶石:時空戀人Ⅱ

漸漸發現這系列分開三本有點不太對,基本上根本就應該是一本出版啊。加上作者也沒有特別分割故事,系列分成三部曲確實有點勉強了。

不過這確實還是一本好書好故事 啊哈哈

因為故事很薄所以真的不知道繼首部曲後到底還有什麼可以寫的。呃,我還蠻喜歡當男主角吉迪恩面對自己感情時的率直,很man啊!最後他還是選擇了告白。在西方文學要看見告白的一幕真的很難!所以我還是很珍惜作者的這個安排LOL

至於關德琳呢,我很喜歡這個角色,真的很可愛呀,可是她那不疾不徐說騙話的樣子讓我想起了某件現實生活中的事情,我確實可以相信人在想盡辦法圓謊的時候是最好的演員。

這一部還沒揭發保羅和露西的計劃,主角們都忙著時空跳躍和談戀愛呢~但是跳躍的部分確實比首部曲多了,而且還真的挑戰我的時間思考。比如他們今天跳躍到了晚會與伯爵見面,但是對伯爵來說他們前一天就見過面了,因為跳躍舞會後他們安排關德琳跳躍回到舞會的前一天與伯爵單一會面。#神邏輯

好吧,向終部曲前進吧! 希望我還應付得了接下來的時空扭曲。

- 他說,擊劍還有其他各種格鬥術都是男人的事;依據他的看法,可以讓女人拿在手上的最危險物品是繡花針。
- 相信巧合的人,並未理解命運的力量。
- 當你自己改變時,你周遭的一切都會跟著改變,這就是魔法。


系列心得
《紅寶石:時空戀人Ⅰ》


完。